It’s been a long time since I’ve said anything on this blog or site. The last few months was a tiring experience of painful contractions, sluggish movement, hip joint pain, and so much else. Last summer, I was given a surprise of my life when I discovered I was pregnant with what will be our third-but-second living son. I wasn’t ready. I definitely was not ready. The idea of having two children scared me to death because I was already still trying my hand at being a mom to one! But whether or not I was ready didn’t matter, he was coming.
For the first few months it was fine. A bit of nausea here and a little sluggishness there but nothing too overwhelming. Then came the second trimester that hit me like a truck which was soon followed with the third. I know some people think pregnancy is a beautiful experience, but this mom has to disagree. Nothing about pregnancy is enjoyable for me. Trying to find three thousand positions to sleep, having to beg your husband to get you that thing you suddenly crave ( and he’s annoyed because this is the third time this week ), and then the chasing of a toddler who doesn’t understand mommy is pregnant. Ever been jabbed by an arm pregnant by a two year old? Yeah, not a fun experience!
I couldn’t exactly handle the weight of that and maintain work since it’s such a demanding job of bend, drop, roll, and everything in between. With me being high risk ( again ), I couldn’t risk the chance of suffering another painful experience like my first. I had to make the difficult decision to cut down on my work and work extremely low part time to none at all. My husband was very clear on this because he wanted me to be safe. And while I thank him for that, not being able to do what I loved really sucked.
I made the best of it. I had the joy of meeting a friend in NYC to do a maternity session which was an experience. Climb this, stand there, oh my goodness … I got a work out but it was so worth it. I can say to my son when he is older that mommy stood naked in the middle of the street of Harlem to get a beautiful picture. Of course I’m sure he won’t want to see the picture, BUT it’s the experience of the tale that matters! I waited and waited until finally on May 12th during my NST, it was revealed that my fluid was very low. I wasn’t allowed to go home.
It was time to bring baby into this world. After about 7 hours of grueling painful picotin labor and a scary ordeal of epidural working but making baby react poorly, I went in to do a c-section and delivered my new son — Jay Jr.
It’s been close to two weeks and I’m slowly adjusting to the life of a mom of two. I told myself up and down I will never again run through this experience, but a part of me feels like maybe if I wait a few … ten or twenty years … I may be of mind to try one last time. Maybe. We’ll see.
Moving forward I realize I want to capture life’s little moments even more so than ever. Now that I’m in a new place with two kids and a husband, the push to capture their milestones is stronger than before. I don’t know what it is about having a baby that just drives a person to want to pick up their camera and snap, but that’s me right now. I haven’t grabbed the big and trusty camera yet, but it’s coming. I want to make Fall the year I really try to capture what matters most to me. And what is it that matters to me? Well … family, really. Children and life and all the little in betweens. The messes, the spills, the tantrums, and the sleepless nights. I remember I jumped into this business because I wanted to capture the life and the real and not so much the posed and the pretty. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love the posed and pretty, but it’s the life photography that really gets me going.
This year I’m going to make it a point to do just that here on my site. I want to share my story here with all of you and somehow stick to it. Don’t hold me to it. I am the worst when it comes to sticking to what matters. I told myself this website would be 100% professional only but who am I kidding? This business is more of my baby where I share my talent and arts with everyone else and of course my day to day. So if I don’t make this something unique, then it just becomes like everything else!
I sit here with coffee gone, my son upstairs likely in my bedroom playing with my iPad tablet and locking it, and my newborn tucked in his Moby sleeping after fussing because he wanted to nurse for the umpteenth time. Power snacking. Today is the day I am going to make a new approach towards SGW Photography. Going forward, this experience is about my life and my desire to share yours.
In a less than infomercial tone, this is just me hoping to initiate some big changes. I hope you stick around to see them.